Mahabharata – 186
by
Sankar Mukherjee
&
Dr Ramesh Chandra Mukhopadhyaya
    Aadivamsavatarana Parva

Pandu’s lamentation

King Pandu killed a deer and a doe while living in the forest.After the death of that deer, king Pandu with his wives was full of sorrows.He wept bitterly. And he said --- The wicked, even if born in virtuous families,commit sins driven by their own passions. They become overwhelmed with low spirit as the fruit of their own deeds. I have heard that my father, though being the son of a virtuous soul passed away in his youth being passionate with lust. In the soil of that lustful king, the illustrious rishi Vedavyasa begot me. Being a son I am of such a soul, because of my wicked nature. I am now in great unease.While in hunting I have done wrongful act. Oh !, the very gods have deserted me! I shall seek salvation now. The great barrier to salvation is the desire to beget children, and other concerns of the worldly life.

I shall follow the eternal path like my father Vedavyasa. I shall certainly bring my passions under complete control by severe ascetic penances. I shall  wander over the earth, begging for my  survival only,and covering my body with dust, I shall opt for the shelter of trees or deserted houses as my home. Forsaking every object of affection with strong dislike, I shall never yield to influence of sorrow or joy. I shall regard modesty and tribute in the same light. I shall not seek satisfaction with the bows.  

 Forsaking my wives and other relatives, I shall be at peace with all, and shall not accept gifts. I shall not mock anybody, nor shall I frown upon any one. But I shall be ever cheerful and devoted to the good of all creatures. I shall not do any harm to the four orders of the society.I shall  never be jealous of any  oviparous and viviparous creatures and worms and vegetables. And I shall treat everyone with equality, as if they are, my own children. Once a day shall I beg of five or ten families at the most, and if I do not succeed in obtaining alms, I shall then go without food. I shall rather maintain myself with inadequate amount of food, than beg more than once in a day. If I do not obtain anything after completing my round of seven or ten houses, I shall never go for begging at more houses. Whether I obtain or fail to get alms, I shall be equally unmoved like a great ascetic. I shall twist off an arm of mine with a small axe,  and cover another arm with sandal-paste.Both will be the same to me. I shall not wish prosperity for one or misery for another. I shall not be pleased with life or displeased with death. I shall neither desire to live nor desire to die. Washing my heart of all sins, I shall certainly transcend those sacred rites productive of happiness, that men performed during auspicious moments, days, and periods. I shall also abstain from all acts of religion and profit and also those that lead to the satisfaction of the senses. Freed from all sins of the world, I shall be like the wind that is not attached to anyone. The path of righteousness leads myself along this way. I shall spend my life to the last in this way. Deprived of the power of begetting children, firmly adhering to the line of religion I shall not certainly deviate therefrom.I shall not tread along the foul path of the world that is so full of misery.The person who asks from some other man for a son is surely like a dog. Deprived by  the curse of the deer sage of begetting a child I should not certainly, from desire for an offspring, solicit others to give me children.

The king, having thus wept in sorrow, looking at his two wives Kunti and Madri, said ------------ Let my mother Ambalika, Vidura, the king Dhitarastra with our friends, the respected Satyavati, Bhishma, the royal priest, illustrious Soma-drinking Brahmanas of rigid vows and all elderly citizens depending on us be informed, that Pandu is wandering as a religious mendicant in the woods. Hearing the words of the determined Pandu both Kunti and Madri said to him--- There is no doubt that by  undergoing the severe penance for liberation of your soul you will achieve heaven.And there you will be our husband in the heaven. We also, in the company of yours controlling our passions and saying goodbye to all luxuries and materials for sensuality, shall follow severe austerity.Oh  Lord! if you abandon us, we shall then this very day depart from this world.

Pandu replied --- If, indeed, this is your determination originating from virtue, then with both of you I shall follow the eternal path of my father. Abandoning the luxuries of the cities and towns, clothed in barks of trees, and living on fruits and roots, I shall wander in deep woods, practising the severe penances. Bathing in the morning and evening, I shall perform the homa. I shall reduce my body by eating very sparingly and I shall wear skins of the deer and keep matted hair on my head. Exposing myself to heat and cold and disregarding hunger and thirst, I shall reduce my body by severe ascetic penances. .I shall offer oblations to the fathers and the gods with mantras, water and the fruits of the woods. I shall eat fruit, ripe or green, that I may find.I shall not keep  any relation with the inhabitants of the woods, or any of the residents of cities and towns.Also I shall  never go against them. Until I lay down my body, I shall thus practise the severe ordinances of the Vanaprastha mode of life searching for more severe tests that may occur in future.

Pandu having said this to his wives, gave away to Brahmanas the big jewel in his crown, his necklace of precious gold, his bracelets, his large ear-rings, his valuable clothes and  weapons. He gave away chariots and all the ornaments of his wives.

Then summoning his attendants, he commanded them, saying ---  Return to Hastinapura and tell them that Pandu with his wives had gone into the woods, foregoing wealth, desire, happiness, and even sexual pleasure.

Then those followers and attendants, according to the command of the king, with a loud cry, leaving the king Pandu returned to Hastinapura with speed carrying that wealth with them. Then Dhritarashtra, hearing from them everything that had happened in the woods, wept for his brother. He was deeply overwhelmed wih affection, little enjoying the comfort of beds and seats and dishes.