Monday 18 January 2010

My Mother

My Mother
Mandira Chattopadhyaya

Reading about Mandira’s mom reminded me about my own. She is just as
noble as Mandira’s mother is. She is the daughter and granddaughter of
two renowned scholars of India. Studying about different subjects was
in her blood and this helped her as she faced adversity and hardships.
They say adversity and hardships make one strong, developed and
mature. Well, they poured in hordes so far as my mother is concerned.
Her married life was an unending story of pains and struggles. She
never received any money to buy her child’s milk, she had to sell her
gold bangles to get her polio affected daughter admitted into a local
school. She thought of her own school, a prestigious Missionary School
in Gujarat and kept her disappointment to herself. She never
complained because who will listen to her woes?
But someone did help. A tutor of her kid sister pointed out, she could
write such good English, why hadn’t she continued with her studies. At
least it would keep her from depression and it would help her forget
the unpleasantness of her reality. Now the battle started. It was
amazing how she balanced the countless chores her mother in law thrust
upon her and her serious studies to earn degrees. She completed
graduation then Honors in English, even an MA, while she faced
hostility and even violent abuse. In due course she got a teaching job
and received money for the first time in her hand. It was a great day
for her. She at once bought milk for her daughter!
Her father had discontinued her studies and she had to study
privately. But she wanted that I could study in college and university
and made an all out effort to let me have the college and university
life. The rest of her story is very similar to that of Mandira’s mom.
I think almost all mothers suffer because we live in such a society
where exploitation is in order, where individual freedom is an alien
word. However, here is a story which is one of triumph over
tribulations, triumph of spirit over evil wills. She is an ever
spirited lady and the adjective suits her like a tailor made garb.
Thank you for your patience to read my write up about my mother!
I wrote this poem remembering my mother's pain.
Pain
The mother clutched at her emaciated form,
The baby lay limply in her arm.
Can she blame the world, or, only herself?
Who can bring her baby back to her healthy self?
My child, her inner being weep
Can I ever make you walk, or will you creep?
God, give all my health to her,
So I may her weakness bear.
......................
The mother aged and bent now,
Follows her infirm daughter like a tow.
Praying to God does help sometimes,
Worry and anxiety, though gnaws at her minds.
Who will care when she goes?
So she wants to live a long, long life, she does.

My Mom

My Mom
Mandira De(Roy)

My Mom is beautiful.But she never looks like one.She has remained busy her
whole life since she married my ailing father, always nursing him and acting
as per his whims.She has never been allowed to sit and enjoy a cup of tea
.Instead she thought it right to spare that time for her aggresive,
dominating yet seriously ill husband and her daughter.She never told a lie
or skipped her duty only to teach her daughter how to perform one's
duty.She could easily go to a friend's house or enjoy a recitation by her
favourite artist anyday.That could have helped her to remain
cheerful.Instead she taught herself to be happy without any external
help.She never enjoyed a very blissful life with my father.That used to hurt
her all the time.But she never tried to escape her duties to her husband.Now
a days I think what a huge reservoir of love she had stored for my
father!Each and everyday with the morning tea in her hand she used to wait
for her husband to wake.After the important event had happened she
silently used to go to the washroom to wash all her husband's dirty
bedcovers and clothes and so on .EVERYDAY YES EVERYDAY.She never chose to
read any quotation from the upanisada to learn to help her loved ones.But it
was so spontaneous to her to be a lifelong and unpaid yet
uncomplaining friend for her husband.She presented her partner with a fresh
new day everyday.She acted like a shield and protected me and my
father.Everytime I tried to help her she refused to take any help.She went
to vellore alone with my father to give her better treatment.It was oneday
when I was alone with a patient in a hospital at midnight I realised how
much struggle she had undergone alone.But like a hero she never breathed
about the pain.After my father's death she never protested when her inlaws
blamed her for his death.She is no less a sage and knows her point.She need
not be successful but she is a beautiful angel to me from whom I have learnt
the meaning of life.I salute her spirit. each time I see people applying
tricks to escape their duties, their ideal figure,gorgeous hair and skin
make them look uglier.With her wrinkled face and grey hair ,she is to me
beauty redefined.